trust your practice.

Jan 28, 2025

every monday I start off the week with a 60-minute 6am hot power yoga class at one of the studios where I teach. I was chatting with one of my students who was stressed about a trip she had to take for work. “trust your practice” I told her. meaning, trust your practice to carry you through the stress in your day to day life. trust your breath. trust the peace you’ve cultivated in your body through your practice. trust that the foundation you have laid allows you to show up differently in old, familiar situations.

this advice has been carrying me through january (which has felt like the longest month in history). the period of time between the election and the inauguration last week felt like a long purgatory of denial. last week, the country felt the shift of the transfer of power and the energy was palpable, in different ways, in all of our lives.

when I launched the 40-day program I am leading, I knew the program would overlap with this time of uncertainty, transition, and (for some) fear. and I’m grateful it has. because when life rushes in, all we can do is trust the practices we have built to carry us through. to trust that we have built supportive practices and systems that we can rely on when we are tested and challenged.

leading the program has been some of the most inspiring work I have ever done in my life. sharing these tools, practices, and resources that 100% changed (and saved) my life with other women has been incredibly powerful. multiply that by the poignancy that several of the women in this program are women in my family, healing old patterns in our lineage, has had me speechless at times.

the practices I built in the 40-day three years ago are the same practices that I trust today:

waking early to carve out time for myself for spiritual practice (this consists of reading/learning something new and gratitude journaling)
meditation and mindfulness
movement - yoga (community practice when I can, home practice otherwise) and/or walking (outside/to the beach when possible) and/or trying to incorporate strength (lifting in my basement to an awesome playlist)

these three created the bedrock for my sobriety. a supportive practice I’ve weaved into my sobriety is connection. every week I dial into 3-5 sober community calls each week. I did the first 2.5 years of my sobriety solo and I can tell you that doing it in community is SO much easier. and it’s unlocked new layers of healing, self-acceptance, and honesty about my story.

since moving to the cape, I’ve also added cold therapy. I have a few mantras that are very powerful for me. shaking meditation. drinking water. taking my vitamins. aspiring to drink a smoothie someday.

that same student I was chatting with earlier this week asked me a profound question about my sobriety: “what has been the hardest part?”. the answer surprised me. the hardest part has been the grief. there was so much grief buried deep underneath my drinking. I had no idea how much would come to the surface when I stopped.

recently I’ve been able to write more about my grief. I’ve been able to share more in therapy. I shared my sobriety story as a speaker in TLC recently and it was all about grief. the ways I’ve run from it. avoided it. tried to numb it. and I’m still shedding protective layers I’ve created around myself.

over the years I’ve often joked that I didn’t have time for grief. that I wish I could carve out dedicated time when I’m not busy working, or mom-ing. I know grief doesn’t work like that. but what if it did? I am considering hosting a grief retreat. a weekend retreat (on the cape) to get away and allow yourself space for your grief to come up. would you go? we all have unprocessed grief from the loss of a loved one, a job, a marriage, a pet, a child, a parent, a home, a reality. given the chance, would you wrap yourself up in comfy blankets and let your grief come for a visit? I promise I wouldn’t leave you in a puddle. I’d create a safe space for whatever to come up to come up. for us to explore our grief. invite it in. talk about it with others. move through it with gentle yoga and other healing practices like massage, maybe reiki, maybe a sound bath. and then retreat to our rooms for deep rest. would you come? fall on the cape is really lovely…

last week, during a marathon of drive time between a ski weekend and an onsite workshop for my day job, I devoured gabrielle bernstein’s new book “self help”. it’s an accessible resource for learning more about “internal family systems”.

IFS is a type of psychotherapy developed by dr. richard schwartz in the 90’s. it’s based on the idea that the mind is made up of various “parts,” each with its own perspectives, feelings, and desires. IFS focuses on understanding and integrating these parts to promote healing, self-awareness, and inner harmony. IFS has gained a lot of attention and popularity for its compassionate and non-pathologizing approach to mental health. it invites individuals to embrace all aspects of themselves and work toward integration rather than focusing on "fixing" or "correcting" parts of their personality.

i’ve done IFS work with various therapists over the years and highly recommend gabby’s book if you’re curious to learn more. as I was listening to the book, I learned more about how the practice of IFS teaches us to look for “c qualities” which refer to the core qualities of the Self. the essential aspects of a person’s true nature. these qualities are fundamental to healing, self-leadership, and the process of integrating the various parts of the psyche.

the "C" qualities are often described as being present when a person is in touch with their Self (the compassionate, wise, and centered core). these qualities help to guide and support the healing of the parts of the system, promoting inner harmony.

compassion: the ability to understand and empathize with others, especially the wounded parts of ourselves. compassion involves non-judgmental acceptance and unconditional care for our own internal parts and the parts of others.
curiosity: a genuine interest in understanding oneself and others without rushing to conclusions or judgments. curiosity allows for exploration of internal experiences, even difficult or painful ones, with an open mind.
clarity: the ability to perceive and understand one's internal system clearly, without distortion or confusion. clarity allows a person to see their parts and their needs, as well as the dynamics between parts, helping to resolve internal conflicts.
courage: the strength to face fear, pain, and discomfort with confidence and resilience. courage helps to step into difficult emotions or situations in the healing process and embrace the discomfort of growth and transformation.
creativity: the capacity to approach problems and challenges in new, adaptive ways. creativity allows a person to find innovative solutions in their healing process and to experiment with new ways of interacting with their parts.
connectedness: a deep sense of connection to oneself, others, and the world. this quality is about being in touch with the relational and interdependent nature of existence, fostering healthy bonds with others and self-compassion.

all this is to say that I can’t control what’s going on in the world. but I can take very good care of myself so that I may be of service to the world by leveraging my unique skills and superpowers to hold space for healing. when I graduated my 200-hour yoga teacher training my teacher, Annie, remarked that she often feels like she’s sending little love warriors out into the world. and I feel that very deeply.

through the work I did last spring on uncovering my dharma, I came up with this statement: “I live my life in devotional service of my mission to help women heal their hearts and live their most wholehearted & authentic lives.” I am a leader, who is also a healer.

i’m looking forward to doing more of this work this year and hope you’ll join me.